I have 3 children, twins’ girl 14 and son 12. I have always managed to pay child support to the tune of about $85,000. I had my daughters first and their mother and I have always been close. Although when my son was born and his mother filed for child support, that is when my drama began. The twin’s mother could not accept the fact that the son was getting a portion of my check in the tune of 25%. So she also filed for child support. The drama that I spoke of earlier, started because the twins were born in Indiana and the son was born in Tennessee. Indiana law stated “that child born first” gets bigger portion of child support. Tennessee law states “child who files first” gets bigger portion of child support. I traveled back and forth between states to both Courts; telling me that “they would not honor the other states, Court Order”. I will never forget that dreadful day in June 1995 when I received my pay check, it was for $6.00 and the rest paid$750 dollars for my son and $750 a month for my twins. That not only crippled my sprit it broke me financially. I filled Bankruptcy that year.
My son’s mother was very devious. She did not want me but she could not stand to see me with another woman. When I was married she always figured out how and why to cause confusion. I think that is another story in itself and I will talk about it at a later time. I am a single father 44 years old and I have been paying child support now for my son for 12 years. I have had custody of my daughters since they were 5 years old and they are 14 years old now. My daughter’s mother just was not living a stable life, she was out their. Her family helped me to get custody. My life as a dad has not been easy. I am an only child and my mother passed away the year I received custody of the children. My mother had me when she was sixteen and she did have the support of my father. So I do understand when I hear about kids raising themselves. If laws were in placed the way they are now, years ago my mother would have been in a lot of trouble. When you haven’t been taught how to love, it is hard to for one to express love, and that as been my problem and 70% of the men in the US dealing with child support. I would like to think that the justice system is fair and impartial. Although I don't really think that is the case. I suppose the reason that I am peeved, since the evolution of cocaine to crack, more mothers are giving up there rights as parents and I found out that “there are more dead beat moms than dads”.
I have had my daughters and have never received one dime of support. It’s hard for me to explain to my girls why their mother does not call. I suppose we both have the same thought, will she ever get it together?
My thinking is that a child is supposed to always be with the mother unless she proves herself unworthy! I wish that more men would step up and take part in their children life. With guidance you may not know which way to go, but you have an ideal.
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