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Saturday, December 8, 2007

Why Pay Child support

As a child growing up my father was never a part of my life. My mother raised me by herself, she had me when she was 16. I hear about fathers all the time not paying child support and I think back to my childhood and I know exactly what it was like. Sometimes the shadow of giving a few token dollars gives men the impression that "they don't need to spend time with the child". In fact women would like for the man to pay child support and visit the child. Although if they had a choice 70% would rather have the dad in the child's life. Sure women can raise a boy and he becomes a man, but only a man can raise a boy to be a man. The man is the infrastructure that help the boy to be a man and a girl to become a woman. I say these things because when a man and a woman raise children together they have a 80% success ratio. When couples bond together to create a life , why can't they at least remain friends to raise that life.
The one thing as a child that I missed because of no child support was my mother... She worked long hours to raise me. From the age of 5 I had to raise myself. I learned to cook, open the door lock the door and take care of myself until she got home. As a only child it was tough on me, and believe me it gets lonely at night when you are at home all by yourself.
The payment of child support offers that extra income to send the child to day care, or go to a private school.
So why pay child support? 1st because you should, that is your child and take care of him or her. It is your responsibility and step up and be a man or woman. Always remember they did not ask to be here.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

This is what being a dad is all about!

I remember watching Wide World of Sports and they pointed out this guy and his son, you know I was moved… Then the show went off and so did my attention span, as a matter of fact I am not sure who even won the Iron Man. Then a few days ago I was scanning the web and ran across something special, wow! Now as I watched the video I had to say that is a fathers love… I mean I hear all the time about a mother’s love but this man took it to a whole different level. I have to give credit to 2 sites the first being . The videos on her site were okay, but when I saw this video I was blown away. I then had to find out more about the runner and his son and then and I found this blog now I had my ammunition to give tribute to a great man in my eye site!
ABC interviewer asked Dick Hoyt why he and his son even competed. If you have not saw the video yet dick son is disabled. Dick said that he was doing it for his son, Rick told him that he wanted to be in a race. Rick Hoyt is 44 years old and when he was born he was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth which left him brain damaged and unable to control his limbs. Doctor told Dick & Judy that Rick would be a vegetable for the rest of his life. The doctors spoke of putting Rick in an institution but the Hoyt’s weren’t buying that! They noticed even though he could not communicate his eyes would follow them around the room. When Rich was 11 the Hoyt’s took him to Tufts University to the Engineering Department and asked is their anything that could be done to help Rick communicate with them. They rigged up a device that worked with the computer; it had a control cursor attached to the top of his head. This allowed him to now communicate. His first words was “Go Bruins” After a high school classmate was paralyze in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out “Dad I want to do that”Eighty-five times Dick has pushed his disabled son, Rick 26.2 miles in a marathon. Eight times he’s not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars—all in the same day.Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike.
The story is great but this 65 year old man showed the world how much he loved his only son who was 43 years old. The love that he has for his son allowed him to compete in over a 100 races testing not only his endurance but his sons as well. I wanted everyone to know that if we took just a small chater out of these mens life and applied it to our own that we would be destined to succeed as they did. Their goal was not to win, but to finish what they started! Our goal in life should have the same focus. Although after seeing Dick and Rick work together as a team, it makes more sense to me now. You see Dick saved his son because he give him life when he took away his handicap, and Rick took away his fathers handicap as well and gave Dick a new life! Thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoyed the video and me dedication to Dick and Rick Hoyt.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Who Started this mess?

This by far as to be the topic of the week, why? Well 90% of the child support cases that exist in our life time stems strictly from the inability to get along. I mean the problem in most cases is that the guy broke up with his girlfriend and she is pregnant. Conversation with family and friends initiate the desire to get help for the Juvenile Court System. When the women make up their mind to go down to the Court, she in most case has good intentions, but the problem begin when it changes from providing for the child, to a vindictive rage to cripple the man.
Now in the man's mind the Court is going to be fair and impartial but in the womans mind she is going to work the system to the best of her ability. After the judge has waves his magic wand and implemented irreversible rulings against the man, the damage is done! For the next 18 years they have been sentence to each other through the child. I went back and forth to court in a 5 year period that my docket looked like the novel "Gone With The Wind"... yea, It was that thick. I wanted visitation she wanted more money. Then I found another woman and all hell broke loose. In most cases the women don't want the man but don't want any other woman to have them either... Then the women treat the children like pawns, they push the kids in and out the dads life when it works for them. The women are quick to say he did not pay any child support, want him locked up... Then complain if they don't get any money! Bobby Womack said it so eloquently "Girl I can't be in two places at one time". Of course I am not saying that women don't have the right to change their mind, but what I am saying is their are consequences for you wanting to hurt the man... Do they ever think that they may hurt the Child when they hurt the Dad?
I then have the issues with women that disregard what the Court ordered, generally that is the women will not let the man see the child...(that ain't right). Although let a man miss a payment they want to lock him up. I think that if a woman want to take the law in her hand when she deprives the father of his rights, that she should be deprived of her rights, Freedom. That's right lock her ass up while the child is visiting with the dad and when visitation ends she is let go. When this starts happening this will create a ripple effect across the country. So when women see what is good for the goose is good for the gander, they will not be so quick to play that game...
I have so much to say with what has happened in my life in regards to child support, some things make you just shake your head, then some make you angry. I think the worst feeling that a man has after he leaves the Court room is that he has been fu**ed and he did not even get a kiss.
I think that when the parent can not get along, a manadatory counseling should be set in place, for the sake of the child... The most successful adults in the world came from a family that had a mother and father figure in their life. I am not saying that they have to love each other, but what they should do is still care if there actions is going to effect the child...

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