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Saturday, December 15, 2007

What about the Single Dads

I have 3 children, twins’ girl 14 and son 12. I have always managed to pay child support to the tune of about $85,000. I had my daughters first and their mother and I have always been close. Although when my son was born and his mother filed for child support, that is when my drama began. The twin’s mother could not accept the fact that the son was getting a portion of my check in the tune of 25%. So she also filed for child support. The drama that I spoke of earlier, started because the twins were born in Indiana and the son was born in Tennessee. Indiana law stated “that child born first” gets bigger portion of child support. Tennessee law states “child who files first” gets bigger portion of child support. I traveled back and forth between states to both Courts; telling me that “they would not honor the other states, Court Order”. I will never forget that dreadful day in June 1995 when I received my pay check, it was for $6.00 and the rest paid$750 dollars for my son and $750 a month for my twins. That not only crippled my sprit it broke me financially. I filled Bankruptcy that year.
My son’s mother was very devious. She did not want me but she could not stand to see me with another woman. When I was married she always figured out how and why to cause confusion. I think that is another story in itself and I will talk about it at a later time. I am a single father 44 years old and I have been paying child support now for my son for 12 years. I have had custody of my daughters since they were 5 years old and they are 14 years old now. My daughter’s mother just was not living a stable life, she was out their. Her family helped me to get custody. My life as a dad has not been easy. I am an only child and my mother passed away the year I received custody of the children. My mother had me when she was sixteen and she did have the support of my father. So I do understand when I hear about kids raising themselves. If laws were in placed the way they are now, years ago my mother would have been in a lot of trouble. When you haven’t been taught how to love, it is hard to for one to express love, and that as been my problem and 70% of the men in the US dealing with child support. I would like to think that the justice system is fair and impartial. Although I don't really think that is the case. I suppose the reason that I am peeved, since the evolution of cocaine to crack, more mothers are giving up there rights as parents and I found out that “there are more dead beat moms than dads”.
I have had my daughters and have never received one dime of support. It’s hard for me to explain to my girls why their mother does not call. I suppose we both have the same thought, will she ever get it together?
My thinking is that a child is supposed to always be with the mother unless she proves herself unworthy! I wish that more men would step up and take part in their children life. With guidance you may not know which way to go, but you have an ideal.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Spiritual Thoughts from My Heart.


As a man and a father this should be the structure of how we conduct our life.

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back

1. Time – Is like a river, it has no beginning and no end… It just keeps flowing
2. Words – Are like wild animals, if they are not tame when they come out they can be very destructive!
3. Opportunity – Is like holding a million dollars over a fire; drop it and it’s gone.

Three things in life that can destroy a person

1. Anger – Is a bull in a China Shop, very destructive.
2. Pride – A close mind can never be feed.
3. Unforgiveness - If our Lord and Savior could figure it out, we should too

Three things in life that you should never lose

1. Hope – Belief and hope live on the same street you loose that, what else do you have to live for?
2. Peace – With out this in your life, most people live disconnected.
3. Honesty – Goes with value, you loose honor, and you loose credibility.

Three things in life that is most valuable

1. Love - Makes the world go around.
2. Family & Friends – Are one’s greatest achievements!
3. Kindness – A luxury that one gives to another.

Three things in life that is never certain

1. Fortune – A Blessing from God!
2. Success – Can only be determined in one person mind, for everyone has his own value of what it is.
3. Dreams – Are unlimited, if you think it... It is done.

Three things that make a person

1. Commitment – Is a gift of love to each other.
2. Sincerity – The older you get the more you value what the words actually mean.
3. Hard work – The fuel that burns in you to help you achieve your goals!

Three things that are truly constant

Father - Son - Holy Spirit

( I ask the Lord to bless you, as I pray for you today; to guide you and protect you, as you go along your way. God's love is always with you, God's promises are true. And when you give God all your cares, you know God will see you through. You may pass this along to People you want God to Bless - I just did!

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Why Pay Child support

As a child growing up my father was never a part of my life. My mother raised me by herself, she had me when she was 16. I hear about fathers all the time not paying child support and I think back to my childhood and I know exactly what it was like. Sometimes the shadow of giving a few token dollars gives men the impression that "they don't need to spend time with the child". In fact women would like for the man to pay child support and visit the child. Although if they had a choice 70% would rather have the dad in the child's life. Sure women can raise a boy and he becomes a man, but only a man can raise a boy to be a man. The man is the infrastructure that help the boy to be a man and a girl to become a woman. I say these things because when a man and a woman raise children together they have a 80% success ratio. When couples bond together to create a life , why can't they at least remain friends to raise that life.
The one thing as a child that I missed because of no child support was my mother... She worked long hours to raise me. From the age of 5 I had to raise myself. I learned to cook, open the door lock the door and take care of myself until she got home. As a only child it was tough on me, and believe me it gets lonely at night when you are at home all by yourself.
The payment of child support offers that extra income to send the child to day care, or go to a private school.
So why pay child support? 1st because you should, that is your child and take care of him or her. It is your responsibility and step up and be a man or woman. Always remember they did not ask to be here.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

This is what being a dad is all about!

I remember watching Wide World of Sports and they pointed out this guy and his son, you know I was moved… Then the show went off and so did my attention span, as a matter of fact I am not sure who even won the Iron Man. Then a few days ago I was scanning the web and ran across something special, wow! Now as I watched the video I had to say that is a fathers love… I mean I hear all the time about a mother’s love but this man took it to a whole different level. I have to give credit to 2 sites the first being . The videos on her site were okay, but when I saw this video I was blown away. I then had to find out more about the runner and his son and then and I found this blog now I had my ammunition to give tribute to a great man in my eye site!
ABC interviewer asked Dick Hoyt why he and his son even competed. If you have not saw the video yet dick son is disabled. Dick said that he was doing it for his son, Rick told him that he wanted to be in a race. Rick Hoyt is 44 years old and when he was born he was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth which left him brain damaged and unable to control his limbs. Doctor told Dick & Judy that Rick would be a vegetable for the rest of his life. The doctors spoke of putting Rick in an institution but the Hoyt’s weren’t buying that! They noticed even though he could not communicate his eyes would follow them around the room. When Rich was 11 the Hoyt’s took him to Tufts University to the Engineering Department and asked is their anything that could be done to help Rick communicate with them. They rigged up a device that worked with the computer; it had a control cursor attached to the top of his head. This allowed him to now communicate. His first words was “Go Bruins” After a high school classmate was paralyze in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out “Dad I want to do that”Eighty-five times Dick has pushed his disabled son, Rick 26.2 miles in a marathon. Eight times he’s not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars—all in the same day.Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. on a bike.
The story is great but this 65 year old man showed the world how much he loved his only son who was 43 years old. The love that he has for his son allowed him to compete in over a 100 races testing not only his endurance but his sons as well. I wanted everyone to know that if we took just a small chater out of these mens life and applied it to our own that we would be destined to succeed as they did. Their goal was not to win, but to finish what they started! Our goal in life should have the same focus. Although after seeing Dick and Rick work together as a team, it makes more sense to me now. You see Dick saved his son because he give him life when he took away his handicap, and Rick took away his fathers handicap as well and gave Dick a new life! Thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoyed the video and me dedication to Dick and Rick Hoyt.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Who Started this mess?

This by far as to be the topic of the week, why? Well 90% of the child support cases that exist in our life time stems strictly from the inability to get along. I mean the problem in most cases is that the guy broke up with his girlfriend and she is pregnant. Conversation with family and friends initiate the desire to get help for the Juvenile Court System. When the women make up their mind to go down to the Court, she in most case has good intentions, but the problem begin when it changes from providing for the child, to a vindictive rage to cripple the man.
Now in the man's mind the Court is going to be fair and impartial but in the womans mind she is going to work the system to the best of her ability. After the judge has waves his magic wand and implemented irreversible rulings against the man, the damage is done! For the next 18 years they have been sentence to each other through the child. I went back and forth to court in a 5 year period that my docket looked like the novel "Gone With The Wind"... yea, It was that thick. I wanted visitation she wanted more money. Then I found another woman and all hell broke loose. In most cases the women don't want the man but don't want any other woman to have them either... Then the women treat the children like pawns, they push the kids in and out the dads life when it works for them. The women are quick to say he did not pay any child support, want him locked up... Then complain if they don't get any money! Bobby Womack said it so eloquently "Girl I can't be in two places at one time". Of course I am not saying that women don't have the right to change their mind, but what I am saying is their are consequences for you wanting to hurt the man... Do they ever think that they may hurt the Child when they hurt the Dad?
I then have the issues with women that disregard what the Court ordered, generally that is the women will not let the man see the child...(that ain't right). Although let a man miss a payment they want to lock him up. I think that if a woman want to take the law in her hand when she deprives the father of his rights, that she should be deprived of her rights, Freedom. That's right lock her ass up while the child is visiting with the dad and when visitation ends she is let go. When this starts happening this will create a ripple effect across the country. So when women see what is good for the goose is good for the gander, they will not be so quick to play that game...
I have so much to say with what has happened in my life in regards to child support, some things make you just shake your head, then some make you angry. I think the worst feeling that a man has after he leaves the Court room is that he has been fu**ed and he did not even get a kiss.
I think that when the parent can not get along, a manadatory counseling should be set in place, for the sake of the child... The most successful adults in the world came from a family that had a mother and father figure in their life. I am not saying that they have to love each other, but what they should do is still care if there actions is going to effect the child...

Friday, November 30, 2007

New Law

The year of 2006 was a big step for men in American in regards to the Child Support Laws. Now the woman's income has to be considered when determining how much a man has to pay... If she makes more then a scale is used to measure and calculate how much he or she does have to pay. The unconstitutional ruling saying that it was done for the child was just a blatant lie. The only child that was being considered was the woman's child not the children living with the man!

Now this is by far is the one thing that burns me more when a woman can lie and say that a child is this guys child and it really is not. She can collect child support for years on years (tax free money) and does not have to pay the money back if the guy is determined to not be the child's father. That is fraud and the Court says that it is OK to lie and they don't even slap her on the hand; they tell the guy you should have know better... What kind of crap is that? What should be done is we rally to push for woman to be jailed and to pay restitution to the man if they commit fraud. Any kind of deception with checks or money someone is going to Jail and that is a fact. Although lie about paternity and defraud some man for $100,000 and the judge does not say anything what, kind of crap is this? I mean Men in some cases don't even have right!!!

The New Law should be Stiffer Penalties for Women that think that they are above the law. The first Ruling of Guilty For that crime would immediately change the perception that it is okay to lie in court! At least protect the men like they protect the children. Amen.

If you have Court Room stories or better yet just the injustices that were given to you with out your kiss please tell. The only stories that you hear about are nationwide injustices but if they exist all across America then we can rally together, stand up and fight!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Child Support, when do we have a chance!

Tuesday, November 29, 2007

The injustice that the men of America face with the ideal of Child Support leaves me asking the question of what is the problem with the Child Support System... Let me be the first to say that I am not writing because I don't want to pay, but because of the insane way that the Courts Systems have implemented legislation to create a tool that cripple the average men of America boggles my mind. The ideal that all a woman has to say "that's your child " Essentially sets a course in a mans life that is nothing short of a roller coaster ride. All that is done under the scope of what is best for the child, not the childern. You see if you start another family they have to suffer because of the income going to take care of the first child. Wow!

Unfortunately the things I am going to say are shocking but true.Take for instances Francisco Rodriguez who owed more than $10,000 in back child support payments. paternity case involving the 15-year-old girl who he thought was his biological daughter, according to DNA revealed she was not his daughter. Yet the state of Florida is continuing to enforce that he pay $305 a month to support his alleged daughter. He even spent a night in jail because of his delinquent payments.

So why did this happen? Because he missed his deadline to legally contest paternity. That's because, he says, the paperwork didn't reach him until after the deadline had passed!Without fail when a man does not appear in Child Support Court it is automatically assumed that he just did not want to appear... It is also assumed that he received a notice to appear in Court. Of course no certified mail is ever sent, or a receipt received. Although in the same situation that a woman does not appear in Child Support Court CSC, the assumption is she did not receive her paper work and the Court date needs to be rescheduled. It goes with out saying that the Courts are Bias and feel that any injustice that is implemented on the man is of his own doing. So regardless of the essential facts that it took two people to make a baby, the only thing that the CSC recognizes that the man should have know better and all he gets he deserves!

I love the ideal of taking care of my children, but what is not taken into consideration is that women of today are making more money than men are... Yet society still beats on the men that are trying and let the men that are not slide by.

We the men of America are not asking for a break or a hand out. Just a chance to succeeded. All comments are welcomed, if you have a horror story of your injustice please tell. The sad reality is if it does not make the news it must not be to bad!

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